


Scars To Your Beautiful

by spellmanmanor



Series: Zelda Spellman x Mambo Marie One Shots [9]
Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Marie cares about Zelda so much, Please please please do not read this if it could trigger you, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:22:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27546778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spellmanmanor/pseuds/spellmanmanor
Summary: Marie catches Zelda whipping herself and comforts her
Relationships: Marie LaFleur (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina)/Zelda Spellman
Series: Zelda Spellman x Mambo Marie One Shots [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1848325
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	Scars To Your Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: self harm and mentions of abuse are in this story. Please do not read this if any of these things trigger you in anyway. I have made sure to not romanticize these horrible things in any way. If you are struggling with self harm or mental health issues, please seek out help and talk to someone. You don't have to suffer alone <3

Zelda sat on the edge of her bed, her hands trembling and her heart racing. She'd had a terrible day. Sabrina had been in a mood at breakfast that morning which had resulted in an argument at the table. They had both said things they didn't mean and since then hadn't spoken all day. Hilda had tried to calm them both down in the midst of their fight which had made Zelda threaten to send her to the Cain Pit again. Of course she didn't mean that. She would never risk losing her sister ever again, not after the last time. The car journey to the academy had been full of awkward silence, only occasionally broken by Ambrose trying to make conversation, which had been abruptly shut down and ignored. He had stormed off into the forest behind the academy once they arrived, muttering something under his breath which Zelda assumed was about her.

Her students had been no better. She'd spent the whole first and second period trying to calm down two first years who had been fighting over something silly that had been taken way out of hand. She ended up sending them both to their dorms, snapping at them that she didn't have the nerve to deal with their stupid quarrelling today. During break time, she had to deal with a crow that had flown into the window of one of the dorm rooms, surrounded by shrieking teens as she disposed of the dead bird. Her pounding headache did not appreciate their squeals. 

Every lesson she had taught that day became a disaster. The students seemed to have all took it upon themselves to refuse to listen to anything she was saying, instead messing about throughout the whole period. One of her older students thought it would be funny to have a repeat of what happened last semester and had wrote ' _Lady Blackwood is a bitch'_ on the chalkboard, however this time with a permanent marker so she couldn't get rid of the horrible message. Her flashbacks had began after that. She dismissed the class early, too exhausted to even lecture them on their behaviour. She teleported herself back to the mortuary and that is where she's been since.

She stared at herself in the mirror that hung on her wardrobe door. She looked just as tired as she felt. Her eyes were surrounded by dark circles and her pale skin was tinged slightly grey. The stress was making her ill, she knew that, but she couldn't just give up now. She had chosen to become directrix so she would just have to put up with it.

Even so, she still felt horrid. She was failing, failing as a teacher to the students, failing as a high priestess to the coven, failing as a sister to Hilda, failing as an aunt to Sabrina and Ambrose. Not to mention Marie, her lovely Marie, who she hadn't seen all week due to the unholy amount of work she had to do. She cared deeply for Marie, but her fear that she wasn't good enough for her or that Marie would turn out like her ex husband overwhelmed her so much to the point of tears. Whenever Marie would stay over, Zelda would lie awake in bed hours after Marie had gone to sleep in fear that she would maybe cast a caligari spell on her like Faustus had.

_Lady Blackwood is a bitch._

Those words echoed in her head too often. Did her students really think that?

_You're not my mother, Zelda! So stop acting like you are!_

She knew she wasn't Sabrina's mother, but a small part of her had always hoped Sabrina saw her as more than an aunt. She'd raised her, guided her, loved her as her own, but still Sabrina saw her as nothing more than her old hag of an aunt.

_Dearest, why don't you take off that pretty dress? I won't ask again_

Faustus Blackwood. The man who had hurt her the most. He'd betrayed her trust, put her under a spell and made her be his good obedient little wife. He'd dressed her up in floral silks and satins, paraded her around in front of the coven as if she was a prized doll. He'd humiliated her in front of the council and her family, made them all think she'd turned into a simpering little mess who only lived to serve her husband. She hated him, she hated him so much.

But she hated herself the most. She'd allowed all of this to happen to herself. If she hadn't been so reckless and naive, she would have seen Faustus' plan, she could have protected herself and the coven. She could have stopped him. But now they were all in danger. Most of the coven were dead, the one's who were left were terrified and alone. The Eldritch Terrors were coming and she could do nothing to stop them. She was useless and weak.

_Useless and weak_

**_Useless and weak!_ **

She pulled open her bedside drawer and took out her cat o nine tails. Her hands were shaking and her eyes were so full with tears that everything was foggy. She unzipped her dress from the back and pulled it down so it pooled around her waist. She closed her eyes and bit her lip to stop herself crying out as she whipped her back. She whimpered as she kept going, over and over. Tears ran down her face but she didn't stop. She needed to punish herself. She deserved to be in pain. 

...

Marie opened the door to the Spellman Mortuary and called out for her lover. She hadn't seen Zelda all week so decided she would visit her since it was a Friday and she would have the weekend off. She'd picked a bunch of Zelda's favourite flowers on the walk there, deep red roses, and had baked her some lovely lemon and coconut cookies before she had left. She missed her girl and couldn't wait to surprise her.

"Zelds?" She called out again when the only answer she got was silence. She assumed Hilda was at her job and that Sabrina and Ambrose were out, but Zelda's coat was hanging in the hallway so she must be home. 'Perhaps she's upstairs and can't hear me.' Marie thought as she ascended the staircase and made her way towards Zelda's bedroom. Before she knocked on the door, she realised she could hear noises coming from the room. Whacking sounds? Someonr whimpering and crying...

"Zee?" Marie said as she pushed open the door, dropping the flowers and basket of cookies to the floor when she took in the sight in front of her. 

"No, no, no! Don't do that!" She exclaimed as she rushed to Zelda's side. Zelda looked at her with tear filled, pained eyes. Marie held her hand out. "Can I have the whip please? It's okay." Zelda reluctantly handed her the cat o nine tails and dropped her gaze, staring at her lap as she sniffled. Marie quickly placed the weapon far out of the way before sitting beside her lover. She glanced at Zelda's back and saw the wounds and blood that was dripping down it. "I'm going to clean these up, okay? It's alright, you're alright." Marie lightly patted her shoulder and disappeared into the ensuite for a moment before returning with the first aid kit that Zelda had from when Sabrina was a child. 

She carefully sat behind her and began gently cleaning her back, being careful not to make the wounds any worse. She rubbed some ointment on them and a drop of a healing potion before shifting forward so she was back beside Zelda. "Can I hold you, ma cherie?" She whispered. Zelda nodded so she gently wrapped her arms around her. Zelda rested her head against Marie's shoulder and began to cry again. She shook under her hold as she grasped onto Marie's shirt. Her cries broke Marie's heart. She couldn't bare to see Zelda hurting.

"What happened, mon amour?" She softly asked, gently stroking Zelda's hair over her shoulder away from her wounded back. Zelda shook her head, signalling she didn't want to talk about it. "Okay, it's okay." Marie whispered and pressed a kiss to her hair. She held Zelda as her sobs died down to sniffles and eventually she lifted her head to look at her.

"I'm sorry." 

"Oh Zels, don't be sorry. It's okay." She gently cupped Zelda's cheek and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You don't have to talk about it right now, but when you do want to, I'm here for you, ma belle cherie, I'll always be here for you. Je t'aime" 

Zelda blinked away her tears as she looked up at Marie. She didn't say anything, she couldn't. She didn't know how to express how she felt in that moment. So instead she shifted closer so she could gently kiss Marie before she tucked her face into her neck and wrapped her arms around her waist. Marie's hand came up to slowly scratch at her head and she soothingly rocked her as she calmed in her arms.

Zelda loved Marie too and one day, she would tell her what happened. One day she'd tell her everything. Not yet, but one day...

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I really hope I did this topic justice. Please feel free to give me any feedback in the comments <3 
> 
> tumblr: spellmanmanor


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